​S. Jane Gari author of Losing the Dollhouse

I love listening to NPR’s Here and Now to get the rundown on issues of the day, but I’ve never commented on their website after listening. Until last Thursday, January 14. I listened to their 10 minute segment entitled “Bill Clinton’s Past Infidelity and What It Means for Hillary’s Campaign”. I felt compelled to weigh in because the allegations against Bill Clinton hit a nerve with me. Bill Clinton’s bad behavior is about more than just “Past Infidelity”. This is about a

On today’s NPR broadcast of Here and Now, journalist Robin Young interviewed Emily Lindin about her book Unslut: A Diary and Memoir. The story recounts the minefields of adolescence where girls are branded as “easy” or “teases” based on their sexual behaviors or half-baked rumors based on those decisions. The most stunning revelation in Lindin’s NPR interview was how the young author never assigned blame to the boys while she was in the thick of it. She absorbed misplaced g

Violence against women is an international crisis. For me, "Think Globally; Act Locally" applies directly to this issue. When I first moved to Columbia, SC, my husband and I took a horse-drawn carriage tour of the old city. Our tour guide stopped in front of the State House and mused about an archaic law still on the books. “It’s completely legal to beat your wife on the steps of the State House on Sundays. You can look it up.” Believing our tour guide was just being sarcasti

This time of year can be hard for those who are in the midst of their battles as they recover from emotional abuse, sexual abuse, or some other trauma or past hurt. The holidays bring an onslaught of cheerful Hallmark families leering at us from the ubiquitous commercial bullhorns and screens. These images highlight the imperfections in our own families which can leave us feeling a bit sorry for ourselves. Here is some tough love for when the holiday blues take hold—happine

Photo: Dad and me, April 1974 A girl’s father is the yardstick by which she’ll measure all the other men in her life. Without my father’s love and patience, I would never have made the more healthy decisions that led me to my husband, who is an amazing father to our daughter. I certainly kissed a lot of frogs first, but my father, supported by the instincts and advice of my stepmother, helped me weather that parade of frogs before I met the man who would measure up. My fath

In light of the recent Duggar family story, I thought this was an appropriate story to share from fellow author, Krista Wagner. When an older minor takes advantage of a much younger child, it is serious and must be addressed. This type of behavior is still predatory and is not simply “kids being kids and experimenting”. More than a third of sexual abuse against children is committed by minors. There is clearly something wrong. When Krista was only 7, her best friend was a

May is Mental Health Month When someone has a physical illness, we offer sympathy and gestures of goodwill. But when someone suffers from mental illness, most people back off and form opinions. Despite the copious material available on the subject, our cultural awareness and sensitivities toward mental health still need some serious tweaking. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that people should suck it up and “just deal.” Imagine saying that to someone with diabetes.

“Anyone who has been the target of sexual or physical predation will know that, too often, the victim's voice is the first casualty of the abuser's relentless campaign of emotional manipulation, threats, and gas-lighting.” This was the review left by a generous Amazon customer named “Katrina” after she read my memoir about emotional and sexual abuse. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and her commentary is timely. If you haven’t had the chance yet, please check out the

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and this year the relevance is especially poignant. High profile celebrities stand among the accused. In the wake of this national discussion, many people who’ve never suffered so much as an unwelcome sexual advance, ask the question, “Why don’t victims speak out right away?” For survivors of sexual assault, harassment or abuse, the reasons for remaining silent are complex. Some victims suffer an anonymous and violent attack. Others